ihopericksantorum: I hope Rick Santorum goes to the zoo specifically to see the penguins and the penguin exhibit is closed.
youngstero: there could be chameleons all over you right now and you’d have no idea
Mom: LET'S GO I'M READY
: 10 minutes go by
Mom: are you ready yet?????
Me: I've been standing at the door waiting for you for 10 minutes
Mom: Ok I just have to pee and change clothes and water the plants and feed the dogs and cook dinner and swim the english channel
Peeta to Katniss: BABY YOU LIGHT UP MY WORLD LIKE NOBODY ELSE
because you were on fire
I swear if one more person lectures me on why I should go to prom I will lose it. Let me do what I want and freaking get over it.
theclassiestass: what is motivation where can i download it
Friend: Hi, how are you feeling today?
Me: I think I've hit an All Time Low.
Friend: Oh my gosh. What's wrong?
Me: Well, The Maine reason is that no one gets my band references.
Friend: Wait what?
Me: Can we go to dinner so I can explain. You. Me. At Six?
Friend: What are you talking about?
Me: Or I guess we could wait for summer... Is The Summer Set?
Friend: What the hell.
Me: I mean, we could go to a parade. Perhaps a Mayday Parade?
Friend: What the fuck is a Mayday Parade.
Me: Goodbye cruel world! Bring Me The Horizon!
Friend: You're so weird.
Me: I guess we're having a Fall Out, Boy.
Friend: I'm a girl.
Me: Yes, and Boys Like Girls.
Me: Well maybe we could go swim the Marianas Trench together.
Friend: *walks away*
Me: What? It's actually quite a Simple Plan.
Me: OH CMON! fine, do you want to go to the homeless shelter? WE COULD FOSTER THE PEOPLE!
All I want is every color of Revlon’s new lip butter. Is that too much to ask?
I dont know why this is so funny →
wowfunniestposts: this blog is hilarious
step one: take out homework
step two: reward self with two hours of internet for getting that far
There’s this really fun iPhone app where you’re Jaws and your goal is to basically eat as many people as possible. It’s kind of graphic but so much fun because you get to eat boats and people.
marththebland: I wish I was a female tiger because then if I was talking to someone and I was getting off topic I could say “but I tigress,” and then kill and eat them because I am a tiger
maybe if I just ignore the problem it will just go away
first discovering a group: omfg how am i going to tell them apart
later in the obsession: omg yes that's him i can tell by his ear shape
Me: Tumblr should fix ghost notes
Me: Tumblr why are you not working
Me: Tumblr why are my messages disappearing
Me: Tumblr Just let me use Missing E
Me: Tumblr why can't I unfollow someone who's deleted
Tumblr: Hey everyone have some new icons
takeafuckingsh0wer: NO SIR I DO NOT BITE MY THUMB AT YOU SIR BUT I BITE MY THUMB SIR
when did it get so fucking late
me: okay if i go to bed now i can still get 5 hours of sleep
me: okay if i go to bed now i can still get 4 hours of sleep
me: okay if i go to bed now i can still get 3 and a half hours of sleep
me: okay if i go to bed now i can still get 3 hours of sleep
me: okay if i go to bed now i can still get 2 and a half hours of sleep
me: okay if i go to bed now i can still get 2.25 hours of sleep
me: okay if i go to bed now i can still get 2 hours of sleep
me: okay if i go to bed now i can still get an hour and 45 minutes of sleep
me: okay if i go to bed now i can still get an hour and a half of sleep
me: okay if i go to bed now i can still get an hour of sleep
me: okay if i go to bed now i can just not wake up and sleep all day
Anonymous asked: Have you read The Hunger Games?